On Days Like This

On days like this, when the light streams in from my dorm window I am reminded of you.

The sky blue, patterned with cotton ball clouds,

And the air softly blowing, parting the sea of financial aid papers and taxes stacked on my desk,

I wish you were here to help me clear the mounds, and tell me what to do.

Perched on my uncomfortable futon, I remember when we sat on the stoop of the garage.

You held me close and bought me a bubblegum blue popsicle, wiping the tears speckled with dirt on my face. Shushing my soft sobs from my epic crash into a trashcan, after teaching me to ride my bike in the alley, you drew me in closer.

The sky was just as blue, streaked with stratus clouds that you said God drew.

I remember when we sat on the steps in front of our house, and you’d watch me ride my sparkly pink Barbie bike up and down the street shouting, “Don’t go too far! I want to be able to see you!” When the sun began to dip, I’d run up to you with plenty of scabs and scars on my legs,

and you’d buy me an eskimal de fresa from the paletero. Together we’d giggle making fun of the neighbor Doña Martina's new eyebrows.

The shadows grow longer in my dorm room.

The sun begins to set and it begins to look like melted butter, the sky beginning to tint orange.

I remember hearing the crack in your breath when I said I wasn’t coming back home for college,

And the reality set in: when I said I’d never live at home again, I meant it.

You helped take off my purple unicorn training wheels, knowing I’d fall. You ran up next to me, and half crying, half yelling I shouted, “Okay Mami I’m ready! Let Go!”

And you did.

Astounded I turned around to yell, “Look I’m doing it!”

I saw you smile and a tear roll down your face.

I know I made you let go earlier than you wanted to, but now I need you to let go again.

It’s time for me to go farther than you can see.

But on days when the world is calm,

On days when the breeze is so soft it tickles your skin,

and the sun is high in the air, the sky the same color as my bubblegum paleta,

I hope you remember me like I remember you.